Hello coffee lovers and avid readers!
Welcome to Olive’s Library at Olive’s Café, where you can read the stories of adventurous characters as they explore life. Here is a story of a young girl: wondering where she is in her life and experiencing her growth:
All my life, I’ve wanted to share my story, and I wanted people to be interested in what I have to say. I don’t know whether to leave out any details or to disclose everything that I have to say, and my story may not be as heartbreaking or as fascinating as everyone else’s. Nevertheless, I want to share my story because it means the world to me for anyone that is just like me to read this story. Or, at least, is going through the same situation as me…
As a child, I was a crybaby: I would cry whenever I wouldn’t get what I wanted, and it’s usually the things that other kids have, and I don’t. What’s unfair is that my mother would have to deal with it on her own. Then, my siblings would pick on me because I cry, but so did the other kids. They couldn’t help it: they were just kids, and they wanted someone to tease. They say it’s only for fun, but they stopped whenever I cry. It was no wonder I didn’t have any friends. I was just too sensitive.
So, why would they pick on me, you ask? Well, I never really understood why they would pick on me. They told me that they pick on me to make me laugh, and to get along with me, but I would end up crying all the time. They even stopped having fun with me because I cried a lot. I just ruin all the fun when I cry. I even make my mom mad when she’s already stressed out. She doesn’t get paid enough for this…
As I watched my mother raise five kids and working, I felt bad for her. Not only that, she had to deal with one kid that cries 24/7. My dad wasn’t around growing up, and when I did see him, it was because my mom would call him to come for my 9th birthday. Between you and I, 3 of my siblings are actually my cousins. Their parents couldn’t deal with them, so my mom took them in under her care. My other sibling is my eldest sister, but she always acts like a child. Well, like I’m any better…
Whenever I looked at my siblings together, it made me want to cry. Even my sister liked hanging out with them, especially when they were all close in age. I’m literally the baby out of all 5 of us, and it was frustrating knowing that I’m the only kid in the family that went to elementary school, while the older kids were going to middle school…
As I grew older, I didn’t cry as much as before, but I still cried nonetheless. Although, no one wanted to be around me, at least some would actually talk to me, and I was a little happy about that. My mom still had to work, but at least it’s only to support just me. My siblings have grown older and have moved on to their own lives. However, I can’t help but feel lonely sometimes. Contradicting, right? Therefore, I have grown lazy, bored, and introverted. Though, I also grew smarter (if that was even possible), and even my mom smiles from time to time. Even though I accomplished a lot in the academics, it was still not enough to grow: I needed to be street smart. They told me that if I’m not street smart, I wouldn’t survive in the world. My siblings were adamant about it, but I was just too lazy.
Then, when I started working, my perspective changed. Well, I had to work because my family was pursuing me about it. Anyway, after I started working, I bought my own things and even helped my mom with the expenses. I even continued school while working, but I had no time to sleep or cry. Shocker, isn’t it? What’s even a bigger shock was that people wanted to be around me. It was too good to be true, and I didn’t know how to behave. After some time, one friend told me that my behavior wasn’t acceptable. So, I had no other choice but to grow up. After taking the time to reflect myself, it made me realize that I was still trying to figure it out how to grow.
I did my best not to cry so much, and it worked with therapy and a little communication. It took some time to transform myself from being a crybaby to my best self, but it’s well worth the work.
Please comment below if you can relate to this character, or if you have words of opinion.
Thank you for tuning in on Olive’s Library at Olive’s Café!
One thought on “From Crybaby to My Best Self”
Wow this is so relatable. Kind of like me, only I pushed people away and buried my emotions. Only now I’m kind of sharing it with people, and I kind of regret it tbh, because it does make me seem like a crybaby.
But hey at least you got to cry as a child, and you’re entitled to that. I think it’s good to want things and to feel things, it’s a lot better then not feeling things, and there’s nothing wrong with you for feeling that way.
I felt the same way when I started working. I don’t know how to act with people AT ALL. Especially after not interacting with them for so long to. Idk if I was trying to push them away, or that I just didn’t interact with people because well I didn’t think I belong.
I think this is a story about belonging. You couldn’t find anywhere you truly belong, even in your family, but you like feeling needed and so you work and that’s helped a lot, but you’re still trying to find a place to belong. A place of understanding.
I think we’re all trying to find. And in trying to find it, we are trying to be our most perfect selves in order to feel accepted and needed. In order to feel belonged.
In this case, I think you have definitely found something to feel belonged.
Okay, I’m totally abusing the word belong now… I’m projecting myself and my desires onto you lol.